


I wish you would

by anotherthief



Category: E.R.
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2482109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherthief/pseuds/anotherthief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Union Station. A different ending to Susan's train ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wish you would

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 12/8/11 on my LiveJournal.
> 
> For Heather.

It doesn’t hit her at first.  
  
She finds her seat easily and stows away her carry-on before settling into her window seat and watching the city disappear. The buildings are first, naturally, but then they roll outside of the city limits. After a few hours, it’s mostly farmland, but it’s dark and she can’t see much of it. She watches anyways, taking in everything and nothing. His words echoing in her ears become the soundtrack for her trip.  
  
 _We’re good together.  
  
I love you._  
  
She wipes a stray tear every now and then. There’s a life waiting for her in Phoenix, she reminds herself before dozing off around 1 am.  
  
For the next few hours she’s in and out of sleep. Her dreams are a jumbled mess.  _Little Susie is laughing and playing with Chloe and her step-dad from Susan’s last visit. Little Susie is a toddler now and runs without fear, arms outstretched as she pretends to be an airplane, face full of joy as her step-dad scoops her up in his arms. Susan’s standing on the sidelines, heart full of pride. She tries to walk to join them, but her feet are planted to the ground. As hard as she tries, they only move further away. Just as she starts to panic, the dream morphs and she’s back in Union Station with Mark standing in the same place she left him. He doesn’t speak. He’s just standing there watching her ride away, but something in his eyes calms her down._  
  
She wakes up with a start when the train whistle announces they’ve left a stop. She rubs sleep from her eyes and repositions herself to try to keep her neck from getting sore. It’s daybreak now, and she can see the first streaks of sunlight trying to dance across the sky. The dream has left a knot in her stomach, and she tries to dismiss it as hunger. She pokes at oatmeal in the dining car, but the knot in her stomach won’t be pacified. She returns to her seat where Mark’s words find her again.  
  
So much of her life has revolved around escaping. Her parents’ control, the trailer park, her sister’s problems. She was good at biology so she studied medicine and found a career she was passionate about. It didn't hurt that it could rescue her, too. She never really got away, though. Her family is still her family and until six months ago she was still trying to escape. Now she’s free.  
  
She skips lunch, the knot in her stomach refuses to settle. There’s a life waiting for her in Phoenix. That’s what she keeps telling herself.  
  
 _But what about the one she’s leaving behind?_  
  
It’s then when it finally hits her.  _She’s still trying to escape._  But this time she’s not running to something, she’s running away.  
  
She gets off the train at the Fort Worth station a day after she got on. She takes a bus to the Dallas airport and books a plane ticket on the midnight flight back to Chicago. She spends the next three hours in the airport alternating between panicking about taking the flight and then panicking about what happens if she  _doesn’t_  take the flight.  
  
In the end she gets on the plane, has two gin and tonics, and doesn’t breathe until they land a little over two hours later in Chicago.  
  
When she knocks on his door it’s after 3 am and she’s pretty sure she’s crazy and he’s not going to answer and then she’s going to be in Chicago without a place to stay and  _what was she thinking_  – then he opens the door.  
  
He’s wearing pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt, and he’s looking at her like he can’t believe what he’s seeing and for a split second she’s back to thinking this is a bad idea, she’s already broken his heart once, but then he smiles and she’s smiling, too.  
  
“You came back.” He says and shakes his head, probably still a bit in shock.  
  
“Yeah.” She smiles kind of sheepishly then. “Can I come in?”  
  
He’s still shaking his head in disbelief, but he opens the door and she walks through.


End file.
